it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
