do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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