I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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