not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
