I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You took a bar mat shot.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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