Do you still have your period?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
