When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
