i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
