O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
