Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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