THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
