Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
