im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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