then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
