But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
