My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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