yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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