Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The uberlube is also flammable
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
