If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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