Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
