Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
