No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
