garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
