mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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