Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
