..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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