So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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