I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
