I smell stomach acid.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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