ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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