She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He shit in the fireplace
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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