SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I love you. Go after that dick
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
