He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
