Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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