people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Less talking, more tequila
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
