I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
