I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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