You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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