I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
