Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
