Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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