is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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