Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
