They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
