You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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