My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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