Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
