so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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