Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
