Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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