And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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