Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
