I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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