I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
