I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
